Lost can mark the beginning of your Self….the transformation that results from choosing to see, understand and be who we are is unmatched by anything else.

Sara Kuburic – It’s On Me

I feel like I am in a constant rotation of finding or redefining myself. Just when I think I have a solid sense of who I am, who I think I am is thrown for a loop. I don’t believe that I ever got a firm foothold on Emerald as a person since I moved from MD to AZ. I was honestly starting to lose some ground before I moved, and hoped that this big change would knock me into the newer better version.

And now, again, I’m facing the end of another year (the time really is flying) and I am deeply entrenched in the angst that evidently accompanies middle age (how in the world did I get here?). I’m trying to shake myself loose from the wanderings of my mind. It’s time to reorient (and recreate?).

And I guess the saving grace of this constant rotation is that I haven’t given up… Can I find true solace in the idea that as long as I keep thinking that I can be a better version of myself, that as long as I actually continue trying to find and redefine myself, I am at the very least still living?